Tag: self expression

freckled sky

On By marciehall1 Comment

I lay in bed and count Keller’s freckles as his chest rises and falls slowly to the rhythm of his breaths. The stars are hypnotizing tonight and they cause me to wander aimlessly through the landscape. In an attempt to ground myself and not get lost in the sky, I crawled into bed beside my heart that beats outside of my chest. I find myself drawn to the stars on his cheeks even more so than the ones I’d just abandoned outside. There is a milky way that runs diagnally across his face. It doesn’t take me long to find the big dipper resting on his rosy cheek. From there I follow along as it leads me to the North star, the star which tells me I’m in fact going the right way.

undress

On By marciehallLeave a comment

Questions and comments I will receive after this post:

1. Who took that photo?

2. Marcie take it down!

3. DM’s from people who are suddenly interested in my life.

4. Family members swapping texts with one another remarking how they can’t believe I’d post such a thing. …And a multitude of others I presume.

So why even bother? To me this is a representation of a new beginning and of self love. This body has been stricken with disease, created and birthed a human, climbed mountains, carried a child miles and hours through forests just to share the magic, lugged pounds of snacks and medical supplies up and down trails for days just to prove I could, been broken and been tested time and time again and shown resilient every single time.

I am so happy to have left behind bras (and sometimes pants), hairbrushes (sorry, Hope), stress and anxiety, facades, and cookie cutter goals. In the middle of the desert, the coyotes hold no judgement, the deer don’t care when I showered last, and the breeze in the valley wraps her arms around me in an embrace everytime she says hello.

This body is mine to nurture. This body is mine to love. This body is mine to live in. This body belongs to no one – but me.

So the question shouldn’t be why bother – the question should be why are we constricting and contorting ourselves to fit into someone elses box?

Here I am, in my element, inhaling the bliss surrounding me and exhaling everything that is beyond my control. Maybe you oughtta give it a shot?